Week One - No more Denial!

I stood on the scales at the Gym last night, and I am 92kg. Standing at a rather meagre 5'1", 92kg is rather large. I'm a size 16, and thats a tight 16.

I'm not insanely unhappy. Most of my life I've been overweight, and theres always been that
thought in the back of my mind that I should lose some weight, but it hasn't governed my life. Until recently, I was in a loving, fulfilling relationship with a great guy. We had our issues, but we were happy most of the time. He was also overweight, though I was in a worse state than he was. Together, we'd happily chomp through a 2 litre tub of icecream in a night. Always together, we were always eating the wrong foods. This, coupled with me becoming ill with Glandular Fever in 2006, is the reason I gained more than 40kg since I left highschool in 2004.

At my heaviest, I tipped the scales at 105kg. I went on a very severe diet in 2007, and lost 21kg. I was very happy with my weight loss, and after 3 months of this hardcore diet, I eased up for Christmas. Unfortunately, I never went back on my strict diet, and eased up completely on my excersize regime. I've slowly but surely put on 8kg since then, and back at a size 16 now, I realise I have to do something! My former partner, (partner in crime!) has now moved to live with his family in Wales permanently, as his father has become very sick. We decided to end our relationship as I couldn't leave my family here, and he wasn't sure if he'd be back to Australia any time soon.

Rather than looking at this ending of a happy relationship as a sad thing, I've decided to embrace it. I am now a single girl again, after 5 years of being with the same man. Although I miss him terribly, I'm looking at this as the chance to take some time for myself, get my life back on track, and have some fun! I am 21 afterall, apparently this should be my year of partying.
So here I am, bearing my soul for whoever wants to read it. 92kg heavy, size 16, but very determined!

My Plan:
I have booked a Personal Trainer for 1 session a week - Wednesdays. I figure having a session mid week will hopefully encourage me to go at least 1 day at the beginning of the week, and should motivate me to go again on Thursday and Friday. I've been a member of a gym for 3 years, but I've rarely gone more than twice a week. I've been paying $20 a week for nothing! Considering the economic crisis, I need to utilise the gym more so I'm not wasting my money! Working full time I've found it too easy to fall into the trap of snacking on bad foods all day, so to combat this I've taken away all lollies and chocolate from my desk, and have decided to fill 2 600mL bottles of water each day so I can drink more water. I'll drink water if it's in front of me, but if it's not sitting in front of me i'll usually forget. This should combat my hunger too, as I'm used to grazing on food all day so I'm never hungry. I have cut down my portion sizes, and am incorporating far more vegies into my meals.

My Overall Goal:
I want to get down to 60kg. For my short height of 156cm, I should be anywhere between 54 and 62kg. I'm aiming for 60kg goal weight - a size 10.

My Short Term Goals:
Each week I hope to lose approximately 500g or more. I will take my measurements, so I can see where I am shrinking! I realise that muscle weighs more than fat, so the number on the scales isn't always an indicator of losing fat. I need to put new batteries in my scales at home (the batteries died long ago and I've never replaced them out of fear) so I can monitor my progress better. Tonight I'll take my measurements and record them on here so you can all see how I'm going.

What I hope to achieve:
Fitness and fat loss are my main goals, but also to shed the overweight status I've had following me around since I was 8. I want my family to be proud of me for finally doing something about the problem I've been whinging about since I was in school. I want people to remember me for who I am, not because I was the quick witted fat girl in the group. I want to be able to go shopping, and pull whatever I want off the rack and have it look HOT! And I want to wake up every day, proud of myself for achieving something that I've put off for far too long.